Suffering: Do you know it?

This session was actually in August, but I didn't write it up at the time.  Today is the day because I'm in a bit of a suffering mode.  This is where these sessions bless me.  What I am experiencing is suffering, but I also know I am fortunate.

This Reiki session was requested by the patient's mother.  The patient was a man in his 30s or 40s. His medical record would indicate: Cystic Fibrosis. Diabetes. Cancer survivor - tumor in the brain and right forearm.  He was in the hospital because he had an infection in his lungs which were functioning at 26% capacity.  He never was awake the whole time I was in his room so I talked mostly to his mother who was at his bedside and had been for all of his life.

She didn't complain.  She was so happy I could come and offer him some relief.

Before I started the treatment, I explained what I was going to do out loud to the patient.  He made some sounds to indicate that he heard me and that it was ok with him if I touched him.  

He coughed throughout the treatment.  He coughed on my hands as I had them on his chest.  His breathing was labored.  I tried to make my breaths loud enough so that he could feel a calming rhythm.  At his chest, I saw the brushes of a car wash... washing out his lungs...swish, swish, swish. 

At his left hand, a man's face appeared very close to mine and then rotated around to the back so that I could see the crown of thorns.  The head of Jesus in agony rotated around 3 or 4 times. Tears were flowing down onto my infection control gown.  I have had Jesus appear before during a session glowing in white robes, but this time he was suffering.

I told the suffering patient that he was brave. And loved. He's a warrior. I bowed to him in honor.

Who am I to offer relief to these people?  They are the heroes.  I am in awe.

Although I know that the patient received relief from the treatment, he wasn't able to explain this to me.  I do know that the images that I saw brought great comfort to his mother.  Knowing that her son was suffering as Jesus did gave more meaning to her care-taking. 'whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me' Matthew 25:40

<3 Lives of service.... so beautiful! EE

The Colorist Day 2

Magic, pure magic!   This morning’s was almost unreal.  Her spirit took me to the Underworld…. I’ve been there before a couple times alone, but not with a patient. 

We do that in shamanic practices.  I ride my stallion through brilliant stars and my fairy sits on my shoulder.  We entered under a tree and then we were traveling through light until we saw a lone volcano that opened up to be a blooming lily.  Out of the lava a crystal emerged and then we were at a wide river.  I got the feeling that her feet wanted her to be in and around rivers because yesterday she had a flowing river from her hip out her left foot and this was the same foot I was on. 

Then we came back from that world and  I went to her other side.  She was dressed in a fancy tango dress with a flower in her hair.  I wrote in her notes that I think her spirit wants to take tango or belly dance lessons… ;)  Actually I think her spirit wants her to embrace her feminine nature. 

Yesterday I saw a whole bunch of eyelashes opening and closing at her abdomen.  She told me this morning that she has been diagnosed with some rare form of cancer that floats around and attaches to organs without predictability.  First it had attached to her ovaries so she had all of her feminine organs removed a couple years ago.  Next it landed on her spleen… this time it was pancreas and bowel.  I told her the images I saw floating in her belly were not menacing.  They were actually friendly.  She asked me to ask them to leave, but when I put my hand on her belly today I didn’t see any of them.  I spoke to her belly and said that she’s working on seeing herself as a sacred feminine being.  I saw no trace of them.  They must be ok with that.  Their message was received.

We talked a little more personally this morning and she told me that her mother was bipolar and as a child her Mom would just check out and sleep and her Dad used to take her out on the tractor and let her play with him.  He was a farmer.   She said this behavior didn’t happen until she was 10 or 11.  Oh my heart!  Her Mom left her RIGHT when she was about to become a woman…. She kept telling me that her Dad was always there for her and he was her rock.  Her body was screaming out for her Mother though…. Ovarian cancer… the MOST feminine of organs besides the uterus.  

So… today at the point where she displayed her fine dancing dress to me I was pretty sure we were close to done with her session because that was an AWESOME way to end… J  I put my hand on her stomach one more time and asked for the image that was there now….. stars…. I saw tons of twinkling stars … a universe of beauty!  And of course… I cried…. I didn’t create that image.  Her spirit did, but I got to witness it.

I think her insides will be fine. J

I feel very blessed that people open up like that and show me these things.  What an honor!  What courage they have!  <3 EE

The Colorist

I walked into her room - The Colorist's - at the same time as the 'line' nurse who was there to figure out why the line into her arm for the nausea medicine was stinging and swollen.  She ended up taking out the line with a promise to come back after the Reiki treatment, but we all conversed a bit before I started.  She wasn't really sure what I did, but I had my volunteer apron on and a name badge so she was fine with me being there.  And The Colorist had been waiting 4 days for this treatment so she was eager to begin.

She said she was bored, but she passed the time coloring in her adult coloring book of cats.  She made sure I looked at the book she had on her chair.  They were lovely. :)  She told the nurse she had metal in her shoulder and knee and that she had nerve damage in her feet from chemo.  Right now she was looking for some help in the colon to get things moving.  I told her to keep that in her intention as she received.  She also had nausea that was making her uneasy.  I don't even know what kind of surgery she had.  I never asked.  I just let her say what she wanted to say.  This is what I feel is important.  Most people want to explain in detail their ailments. 

Before my session began, I saw wings behind me.  I couldn't tell if they were attached to me or another being who was a part of me, but I remembered last night that I felt like an angel united with my energy before I went to bed so I figured it was that angel.  

During her session I saw a lot of swirling purple.  At her stomach I saw a lot of eye lashes and brooms... possibly even feathers.

At her left knee and ankle orange arrived, but faintly.  Her feet had the most imagry... the same feet she said had issues with nerves being damaged... their energy transfer was not shut down.  From her left hip came a waterfall of energy.  It passed across her root chakra and down her leg and out her left foot. I could feel the energy flow through me and into the floor.  I asked it to return to Mother Earth.  At the end, I saw a lightning bolt by her right hip.  The waterfall was very pretty.  It wasn't dark like I have seen much energy resemble when leaving the body.  It was artistic, but definitely leaving.

When I had both of my hands on the soles of her feet, I saw a purple owl with green eyes.  It was quite active moving back and forth.  And more than once I thought I saw some kind of bird - hawk or eagle.  The color was always purple.

At her right hip I saw 3 foxes... sitting and watching.  That's when I noticed my wolf at my right hip.  I don't know where the female wolf was.  Maybe she was the reason the foxes were just sitting and behaving.  :)  

When I put my hand over her stomach on the second side I saw a little heart coming up from the green and purple colors around the stomach.  Many times this is the patient's way of saying thank you... a beautiful image like this.  I cried... probably about 4 times during this treatment.... so many beautiful things to see and feel.

We got interrupted once by housekeeping but we told her to leave.  That still didn't stop The Colorist from falling into a deep rest in the last 10 minutes.  I left the room quietly and wrote up some notes for her.  She remained asleep.

One of my most precious gifts of this experience is when I leave and see the face of a peaceful patient... resting.. and in this rest, the body can work on healing itself... with the divine light provided, exactly as needed.  <3 EE

Insides Out

Today I met a dairy farmer from Wisconsin who had all of her feminine internal organs removed and parts of other helpful organs nicked or cut as well.... and she was concerned about what her kids would  be eating with grandma or if they would be safe riding in their car seats.  Mothers... always putting themselves last... SUCH big hearts!  She was even having nightmares that her kids were abducted.

But she has full support from a loyal and long-time friend and she's beginning to relax and allow her healing.

Here are her session notes: Patient is having a lot of abdominal pain and hasn't had any movements since her surgery.  She's aware that she needs to get things moving and it has become uncomfortable.  She has had Healing Touch sessions back home and they have helped with these issues and she's hoping that this will help get things moving.  Of course this is her immediate need, but there's plenty more to what brought about the need for such a complete extraction of her feminine organs and some others as well.

Upon entering her face looked lost and sunken.  She told me every piece and bit that they removed from her and then mentioned how it is only comfortable to sit and then noticed that her feet were swollen more than before.  We put them up and I massaged them gently while we talked.

Before her diagnosis, she felt that she had no one who loved her... no support structure.  She found out that she had an army of support and love from this illness, but she wasn't fully receiving it or feeling deserving.  She smiled at the thought, but you could tell that she was still uneasy and shy about it.

But she was a great receiver of Reiki!  Her head was VERY hot.  Even my face got hot from having my hands on her head.  I didn't see much until I had one hand on her hand and one over her abdomen.  I saw a rainshower shower head pulling drops of purple from her abdomen and I could feel it running through my arm, down my side and out my leg into the earth.

At her left leg I saw her bone as a piece of steel; very rigid and strong.  She received very well through the soles of her feet; first in green light and then on her right foot in swirling purple.  That's when I knew that Raphael had entered.  The power surge is intense.  Thank you oh Nourishing One.

My next hand position, the purple was gone, but I had to move to be standing over her and all around her I saw many heads and some hands outstretched.... all the other entities (some with pointie spikes coming out of their heads)  assisting with her energy work for the session.  Tears.  It's so beautiful!

I went back to her abdomen and saw a beach ball under my hand.  That's a new one.  :)

She stayed in a peaceful sleep while I talked to her friend about what I saw and what might be helpful for her in her recovery.  They told me she was going to do some new kind of burn you from the inside out chemo starting in 3 weeks.  I cringed.  I told her that I think she's already doing the work of that by being so warm herself and to keep that up.  Since they had removed her feminine organs, I asked her friend if she would cycle with her, let her know when she was on her moon and cleanse and release together.  She recognized that the process was very healthy and necessary and she said she would do that.

Before I left I thanked her for being such a great friend for the patient.  She acted as if it was just her job.  What a brave and loyal heart!  <3 EE

Desperately Seeking Mom

At the beginning of the week, I answered a request from a patient who had requested 2 times previously... and she had been in the hospital for 3 weeks... so I figured it was time to go visit her.  When I arrived she was still getting her physical therapy so I though she had a knee surgery... well kind of... but they took a muscle out of her leg to use as a wound patch on her shoulder because she had a wound that wouldn't close.... the skin was too brittle from many doses of radiation after the radiation used to treat her original cancer caused more cancer and had to be removed and treated with more radiation... where is the sense in that?

Now she sits in a hospital bed getting sore hips and pain elsewhere because she can't get her wound to close.  She just wanted some peace and relief.  And she mentioned that she finally understood what her Mom went through when she had to be in bed during the last part of her life.  And she really wanted to hear from her Mom.  I said I would watch for her.

Something immediately answered the call to assist me in adding light ot her heart.  The first light was yellow turning to green... and the being that helped me stepped directly into me and assisted.  I got goosebumps.  When I moved to the arm, the being was no longer helping.  I went to the knee and immediately a dragon appeared... and fireworks and I knew it was the radiation leaving.  I sent it to the center of the earth and thanked the earth for receiving it.  I sent my roaming female wolf to her wound to add warmth.  She said she felt her arm get really hot at one point.

At her feet she had a lot of color that ended with a big pole of light going through the center of her body shining out past her limbs.  When I came back to her heart on the other side I put my hand directly on her chest and saw a giant hole, like a hole in a cardboard box that has been punctured.  Then I saw a hand move over mine and immediately the hole disappeared and was replaced with flowing purple light.

After the treatment she wanted to know if I saw her Mom and I told her about the two 'helpers' at her heart.  I wasn't sure one was her Mom, but the first one sure seemed to be ready and willing to help right when I got to her heart... as if she had been waiting.  She said she felt a lot more balanced and that she felt her pain levels go down.  She said she still has high stress levels and feels overwhelmed in the hospital. I taught her some EFT/Tapping to help with this.  Hopefully she remembers to use it.  :) EE

Power of Two

Today I heard tones in my right ear at my desk.  I wasn't playing music, no one on the floor was playing any Tibetan bowl music, and I knew these weren't normal office sounds.  I thought to myself, something is trying to talk to me.  I will listen.  I stopped and closed my eyes and knew I was supposed to answer a Reiki request from a patient from the following evening.  And so I did.

I called the nurse's station on the 9th floor- orthopedics.  Surgical patients are not my usual lot, but I enjoy a change.  They weren't sure how long she would be staying so I went over right then because she would really enjoy a treatment and it turned out she really needed one.

I arrived and met the lovely lady; a holistic healer herself!  YAY!  I don't have to explain anything... actually I got to learn from her today!  She knew exactly what she needed.... a pain drain in the high heart and a pain drain in her abdomen.  This was new for me, but I'm game.I started by putting my right hand in her hand and my left hand on her heart.  She told me that I had a Chinese medicine man on my left shoulder (who was whispering to me in the bathroom earlier by ringing my ears) who was directing energy flow.  Hello China Man.  :)

We were interrupted.... by an EKG team and then a doctor who read the EKG.  All looks good, but the doctor had a bunch of questions about her health history and her earlier anxiety episode.  The doctor was a lovely woman who spoke with great kindness and honest intentions.  The patient commented on her lovely bedside manner and told her that the nuns at her former school would be proud.  The doctor got tears in her eyes.  She was touched.  We all spoke warmly about the power of women together healing each other.  mmmm pure goodness moment.

After the doctor left, I continued with my pain drain.  The patient guided me the whole time... told me to ground down through my feel... both feet and relax and allow.  My right hand was sending the pain into the middle of the earth and my left hand was on her heart.  She cried a little bit.. 'This is harder than I thought it would be'.  She was happy to release that emotion.  Then we filled up the heart with energy... I turned my right palm upward and asked for divine energy... allowed it.. not forcing.. like a fog/mist in my hand slowly absorbing into my hand and traveling to her heart.  She guided me with all the imagery.

It was time to remove the pain from her abdomen.  She put my hands where she needed them... and knew when things were going to be released... She told me to work energy out my back as well as my front. She saw angels. I felt them at my back. Breathe it in through your back and exhale it out your front. I recalled how many times, helpers appeared behind me.. animals, angels, mystical historical figures that people base a religion upon.... :) and realized that they were adding their effort through my back.

I had to go, but she said to me... Can you be back? I see you being back about noon. :) HA! I told her I would come after yoga and I did. She commented how she had tried all of these things on her own, but they hadn't been very effective. She once asked her Medicine Woman about why it doesn't work to heal yourself.... and the Medicine Woman said, 'Because we are not God. We need others to heal.'  

The second session began with some work on her husband. She felt like they were exchanging anxiety between them and he needed some high heart work as well. I finished with a little shoulder rub for her husband and a thank you for taking care of her while she healed. 

And then pure magic happened.... first she said her angels were talking to my angels to discuss the course of action. When this had been determined (gees I should have asked her for the names of my angels), my angels communicated it to me... and I felt like holding on to her ankle and moving up to her knee. I stopped at her knee and she said - WOW a Medicine Man is going to work through you. He is your hands, just move like you feel you need to move. So.. I made a salve (with imaginary ingredients - some honey, flowers, and leaves) and put them on her knee. I removed two screws and saw animals bear, bison, and hawk that were also helping the medicine man 'repair' the knee. He told her that we were lucky. Usually Native American Medicine Men don't work through white people ON white people so we were in a special place. I felt honored.

The Medicine Man ended with the bison laying his chin on her knee and closing his eyes. Then my healing animal the female wolf laid on her shoulder... like a cat. She did a quick reading on me... she said my hips were off and that was because I wasn't going forward full hearted in one direction. I had a wheel at my chest with all my options as different colors on the spokes of the wheel. She said my choice was the orange one. I knew what that meant. :)

PS I wrote an email to the doctor who stopped in the first time and she said that her visit with us made her day! :) YAY for the sisterhood of healers! EE